Biggest Retirement Regrets

When you think of your ThirdThird (ages 60-90), what is important to you? Today, I wanted to share 7 common retirement regrets from those who have gone before you. My hope is that this helps you consider how you will approach your ThirdThird. Leaving the workforce too early. Staying in the workforce too long. Not planning ahead financially. Not having […]

Book Club Questions – Part 2

I just spent a delightful evening around a table with a group of women who had read my book for their book club. They invited me to come and talk with them on an “author visit.” I had prepared some questions for the group and, as always, women are great at discussions.  And, being open. […]

Book Club Questions Part 1

I just spent a delightful evening around a table with a group of women who had read my book for their book club. They invited me to come and talk with them on an “author visit.” I had prepared some questions for the group and, as always, women are great at discussions.  And, being open. […]

Retirement fear

Take the Fear Out of Retirement

Maybe it’s not really FEAR…maybe it’s more like dread or uneasiness of the unknown.  The dictionary definition of the word retirement is “the action or fact of leaving one’s job and ceasing to work.”  Since a large part of our life and identity for many years has been our work, the thought of not having […]

Life Lift

Do you feel like you need a life-lift?  Do you think that if a few things in your life would change you’d face each day with more hope and joy?   Try one of these 7 small steps to move towards a happier, healthier life. It does seem that, after 60, some changes happen fast […]

How are you turning into your mother

Am I Becoming My Mother?

Am I becoming my mother?  Have you ever asked the question, “am I becoming my mother?” I was recently in an appointment at a physical therapist for some weird hip pain. As we chatted, I think we came to the conclusion that my problems have been self-induced.  You see, I spent hours sitting in the […]

Mantra and a Youtube Channel

Wikipedia says that a mantra is a sound, syllable, word, or group of words that are considered capable of “creating transformation.”   We all have a mantra or mantras, things we say over and over, that have the power to change us…or to keep us stuck. Not all of the things we tell ourselves are […]

We All Have a Story

We all have a story. In preparation for a book my husband and I are working on, “How to Stay Married,” I have been perusing old journals.  I have a lot of them! I started keeping a journal many years ago when a woman I respected encouraged me to keep a chronicle of life lessons. […]

Love to Read

I love to read. And I love to encourage others to read.   Here is a short excerpt from my book, Which Old Woman Will You Be? from the chapter on Be A Reader.   Today, my top five novels are:  Jane Eyre, Christy, The Chronicles of Narnia, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Kite Runners. […]

Change the Way You Think

Saying daily affirmations, out loud, is a very effective way to live on purpose.  Having true, positive statements you say about and to yourself is rewarding, energizing, focusing, and, actually, can change the way you think. If you google “affirmations” you can find lists of suggested affirmations to tell yourself to make yourself feel better, […]

Seven Ways to Make Food Prep Exciting

Eating at home can be better and more fun than dining out every day.  Here are seven ways to make home food preparation interesting. For many years, it was my responsibility to feed our family of seven three healthy meals a day.  I decided to approach meal preparation as a hobby to keep myself engaged. […]

Less Stress and More Joy

I’m in my ThirdThird now (ages 60-90) and I find there are things I used to care a lot more about than I do now.  Priorities, experience, wisdom, adapting… whatever the reason, I am much more flexible in my thinking. The result? Less stress and more joy. A greater appreciation for each day, each opportunity, […]

It’s Here!

I’ve been telling you about my new book and now it is ready!  I’m excited to share with you that my ebook is available for purchase on Amazon for just $2.99!     I’ve been gathering content for a long time by keeping journals to record life lessons and significant moments. This book, “Which Old Woman […]

Six Ways to Prepare for a Great Life After 60

  If someone asked, here are my top 6 ways to prepare for a great life after 60…. Now that have celebrated my 65th birthday and have my Medicare card, I am enjoying being a gray-haired, older woman who has learned a lot and has arrived at a pretty good place.   I’ve made a […]

Staying Fit When You Hate to Exercise

  Do you want to stay fit, but hate to exercise?  Me, too! The effects of living on this earth for more than half a century has begun to take its toll. But I refuse to believe that accepting “aging” and becoming less active is my only option. However……no matter how hard I have tried […]

Describe Yourself

It takes some forethought and practice to know how to describe yourself. I once had a meeting set up by a friend who knew I was starting a new venture.  He knew someone who was generous and who had some experience similar to mine and arranged for us to meet.  I prepared what I had […]

Know Yourself

There is more to DiSC or any personality or behavior style assessment than just knowing your dominant style.  The mixture of styles is an important layer and there are tools to know yourself deeply and to have greater understanding. For instance, my “D” is high so, I know that I can be opinionated, energetic, decisive….maybe even, […]

New Tools

The DiSC method of understanding is potentially powerful tool.  While there are all sorts of online assessments that will give a basic reading of a person’s behavior style, and plenty of fat personnel files in HR offices, I still prefer to have at least an hour-and-a-half and a paper version to take people through a […]

Energy Drain

Understanding where your energy comes from and where it goes is key to living life well. Do you know what drains you? It is a first step in managing your own energy. The DiSC is a personal assessment tool we can use to understand the way we are wired. We are each a combination of D […]

The Platinum Rule

It has been said that understanding DiSC is learning to practice the Platinum Rule.  If the Golden Rule is to “treat others as you would be treated,” the Platinum Rule is “treat others as THEY would like to be treated.”  Ahhh.  Slight (yet, big) difference. Early in our marriage, I threw my husband (High C […]

Have you been wanting to try yoga?

In my long-time  pursuit of fitness, I have done a lot of different activities.  I loved sports when I was younger and that was enough, along with being active with my 5 kids, for a long time. But when I was recovering from a neuro-muscular disease and needed to rehab shrunken muscle fibers, I found […]

It’s Easier to Keep it Off than to Take it Off

I had just turned 40.  Dave and I were at a gathering and he was conversing with someone and I was not included in the conversation.  My mind wandered. True confession… wandered to the obvious weight gain of the female person my husband was having a chat with.  I thought, specifically, “Wow.  She needs to […]

Make a Difference

Preparing for a talk on Designing your BEST ThirdThird, I made an icebreaker activity, noting people who made a big difference in their ThirdThird. People like Ronald Reagan (was elected President when he was 70 years old), Lady Bird Johnson (Beautify America), Mother Teresa. They did amazing things in their later years. Impressive. Reality is […]


One of my Mantras is, “Be Intentional”. Do what you say you will do… but think about it first. Hmmm.   I can’t remember the moment I decided to live with intention, but most people who know me would probably use the word to describe me.  It might have come from watching people not be intentional.  […]

Your Story

  What is the story you are telling? I am at an age where I have told my story a number of times, in a number of places, to a  number of people.  My story has become more and more consistent as I have worked hard to define what is important to me and what […]


  If you are alive and breathing, someone has done something that requires your forgiveness. Someone has offended you. Someone has wronged you. Someone has stepped on you or over you or around you on their way to a place you thought you were going with them. Someone has devalued you by their actions or […]

Perfection is Highly Overrated

Perfection is Highly Overrated Full disclosure… My natural inclination is not toward perfection.  I prefer to make things work, rather than fix them.  I had a VW bug that needed a new starter (1970’s) and rather than spend the money to get it fixed, I always parked on a hill (easy in Austin, TX) so […]

Take a Break and Relax

I wanted to do something fun and slightly edgy to celebrate turning 65. I decided to take a break and relax. I weighed lots of options and tossed around a lot of ideas and finally settled on going to Cuba. Always interested in the history of this little island and remembering the turmoil of the […]

Objective & Subjective

  Designing our best ThirdThird requires that we be able to merge objective information and subjective information. Subjective information like…. What gives me joy? Who do I like to be around? When am I most satisfied? How do I like to be treated? Objective information like…. How have I been successful in the past? When […]

Wonder and Memories

A few years ago, I made my first trip to Mexico city. Dave had been wanting me to experience Mexico City. It is huge… the largest city in our hemisphere and the third largest in the world. I’m not all that into large (huge) cities, but we are reading a book (The Lacuna by Barbara […]

Benefits of the DiSC

I am constantly reminded of how helpful…in life-changing ways….the DiSC material has been to me. It changed (saved?) my marriage.  It gave me insight into my kids’ wiring to reduce stress and improve relationships. It gives me reason to be patient with some who are different from me. It makes me know why I “click” […]

I Will No Longer Be Insecure

I think I came pre-wired to be paranoid… to care too much what others thought about me.  And, I was born into a family that poured water and fertilizer into that fertile soil of fear and the desire to be well thought of. My issue isn’t so much that I want to be liked.  I […]

Mix It Up: D & S

We all are a mix of the four styles.  No style is bad.  No mix is bad. Each of us the potential to be GREAT. The more we understand ourselves and the inherent preferences we have for behavior, the more successful we will be, the less stressed we will be AND, as we learn to manage our […]

Mix it up: 2 Other D/I Mixes

When I wrote about the high “D” with high “I”, I was talking about very high in both.  It is a  very strong (and thankfully, rare) pattern and one to be managed strategically.  There are other combinations of “D” and “I” that are less focused on controlling, but are equally valuable and strong. A “D” is always […]

Mix it up: D & I

Mix it up is to remind us that, “We all are a mix of the four styles.  No style is bad.  No mix is bad.” Whatever our mix is, or whatever the mixes we are living with or near, understanding, curiosity, and a desire to get along is required to be effective.  The task-oriented C and D […]

Mix it Up: I&C

We all are a mix of the four styles.  No style is bad.  No mix is bad. Each of us the potential to be GREAT. The more we understand ourselves and the inherent preferences we have for behavior, the more successful we will be, the less stressed we will be AND, as we learn to […]

Mix it Up / S & I

We all are a mix of the four styles.  No style is bad.  No mix is bad. Each of us the potential to be GREAT. The more we understand ourselves and the inherent preferences we have for behavior, the more successful we will be, the less stressed we will be AND, as we learn to manage our […]

Mix it UP: D&C

Reminder:  We are all a combination of styles.  All styles are potentially good.  It helps us get along with others and be more effective if we recognize the strengths and challenges of the mixes.   D and C is a difficult mix.   D and C are both task-oriented (as opposed to people-oriented), so they get […]

Making DiSC Work in Relationships

Our marriage of 43+ years is a D/C mix.  It is a wonder. A wonder that we were attracted to one another in the first place. A wonder that we stuck together. A wonder that we made it through some of the challenges. A wonder that we have a family that enjoys one another. A […]

DiSC Basics

  We are each a combination of D and I and S and C.  Understanding those basic 4 types of behavior styles is the first, really great step in understanding your own personal wiring. The next progression is to see how your mix of the 4 basic styles combine to make you uniquely YOU. How […]

A Gift for Yourself

Looking for a gift for yourself?  Invest in knowing yourself better so that you can be intentional with your life choices. DiSC is one of the most life-changing pieces of information I have ever encountered.  Understanding my wiring allowed me to shake off the insecurities and self-doubt that plagued me for years.  Regularly, I  return […]

DiSC Insight: Your Clever Mixture

  DiSC is a valuable tool for learning to love those around us. We are each a clever mix. You are not a “D” or an “i” or an “S” or a “C.”  We are each a mix of all four in some combination and with varying intensity. » Your “D” may be high, so that […]

DiSC Insights: Consistent C’s

The DiSC personality assessment is useful in a myriad of ways We are each a mix of the four styles.  D – i – S – C Conscientious and Careful describes the “C” behavior style. Here are some thoughts/insights about the “C” style: ♦ C’s do the best work!  They make sure that the details […]

DiSC Insights: Wonderful “S”s

The DiSC test (actually its not really a test) can help you succeed in many ways We are each a mix of the four styles.  D – i – S – C Steady and/or Stable describes the “S” behavior style. Here are some thoughts/insights about the “S” style: ♦ S’s make the best friends!  They […]

DiSC Insights: Fun “I’s”

Take the DiSC and you will have some fun–especially if there are some I types in the room! We are each a mix of the four styles. D – i – S – C Interacting/Influencing describes the “I” behavior style. Here are some thoughts/insights about the “I” style: ♦ I’s are fun!  They bring the energy […]

DiSC Insights: Focused D’s

The DiSC will help you in all of the interactions you have day by day. We are each a mix of the four styles.  D – i – S – C. Direct or Dominant describes the “D” behavior style. Here are some thoughts/insights about the “D” style: ♦ D’s like to be in charge.  They know […]

Thankful Bandwagon

Some Bandwagons are good! I usually resist doing things because “everyone else is doing it.” I don’t have a diamond ring. I’ve never owned a minivan (we did have a very cool Nissan van that drove like a VW bus, though).  I do not prefer chain restaurants.  I have successfully avoided Black Friday shopping. And, I […]

You Spot it, You Got It Mantra

You Spot It, You Got It I have “ThirdThird Mantras.”  Words to live by. Lessons learned. Guidelines for designing my BEST ThirdThird. An important manta for me is “You Spot It, You Got It.” It goes like this…..I meet someone and they begin to explain to me that (or treat me like) they know more […]

DiSC Insight: Adapting

A main point with DiSC and understanding your (and others’) behavior preferences is to increase effectiveness. In a Professional Development workshop using the DiSC last week, I was asked at the end what my style is. I asked them to guess and I was reminded of one of my favorite moments with DiSC coaching and […]

Five Good Reasons For You

  Need a reason to take the DiSC Personal Profile System? I’ve got five good reasons for you…   1.) You can know your unique wiring. You are wired uniquely and understanding your wiring (with DiSC) is a major key to success in relationships, whether personal or professional. There was a time I tried to be quiet […]

Life on Purpose… Change Yourself

At a workshop presented by Christie Clinic Foundation last week, the topic was “Live Your Life on Purpose.” Life on Purpose is the sub-line of Your BEST ThirdThird. Since this workshop was focused on what I focus on, I thought I might learn something. I went because it was sponsored by people I respect. AND […]

Which Old Woman Will I Be

I just gave a talk on “Which Old Woman Will I Be?” as a part of “That’s What She Said“–a local women exchanging stories event. It is a key/core story of mine.  I’m not sure why, but I have always thought about what I’ll be like when I’m old. I’ve always been fascinated by people […]

She Said at the Virginia Theatre

The Morning After

Last Saturday night was my first experience on stage at the Virginia Theater in Champaign with the That’s What She Said Show. It was a night to remember. Much preparation and bonding, availability and vulnerability, sharing fears and dreams culminating with a Show we could all be proud to be a part of. It was a 2 […]

That’s What She Said

I get to tell my story to a whole bunch of women in a few days at “That’s What She Said” at the Virginia Theatre! I’m very excited to be up on stage and giving  a small (7 minutes) glimpse of The Life of Debbie. My topic is “Which Old Woman Will I Be?” So […]

A Good Story

  I love a good story. I’m always a little bit in trouble in the fall when all the new tv shows come out. I like drama. And action. So when “Madam Secretary” and “Blue Bloods” and “Chicago Fire” come on, I want to watch them. Now, there are few new ones and they can […]

Eat to Live

A few weeks ago, I had a two-day period where four speaking opportunities came to me all at once. Since I am building Your BEST ThirdThird, I was excited….and a bit overwhelmed. I went home and told my husband I needed to get away for a few days to focus and be creative.  I used […]

Thinner Next Year – No, THIS Year!

Being a bit slimmer next year is a bit of a pipe dream (or a part of the denial process…it’s that NEXT word that does it) of many ThirdThird people. Chris Crowley (of Younger Next Year fame) has teamed up with Jen Sacheck, Ph.D to tell you in simple, no-nonsense, no fad diet terms how to […]

Doing Their Best

I’m always on the lookout for people who are doing their BEST ThirdThird.  I am drawn to people who are doing what they want to do, choosing intentionally how to spend their years. Dave and I were recently camping in the mountains of Colorado.  He was doing what he loves to do…. run. This time, he […]

Aging is Real

I referred to myself as “old” at a physical therapy session recently and the PT (who is about 35, I’m guessing) chided me.  I was using the term a bit tongue-in-cheek, because I don’t really feel old.  In my head. Aging is real. In my referral to this PT, I saw that my doctor referred […]

Potential and Possibilities

The last thirty years (or so) of our lives has so much potential and so many possibilities! I talk about our ThirdThird to anyone I connect with for longer than to exchange money for groceries or passing in a parking lot.  Watching our son compete at Special Olympics event, chatting with the waitress, running into […]

Change Is Good

Change is good. I’ve been thinking lately about how different I am from who I was. Who I was….a third ago, two thirds ago, ten years ago, six years ago. I go back to my journals to see that I have changed. Really changed. Inside and out. A long-lost, recently-reconnected friend observed that I am […]

Happy Together

It happened again.  Every year, I have to put on my bifocals and take my ring off and look at the date engraved inside to remember if my anniversary is August 4th or August 5th.  Numbers can be confusing. After 43 years, you’d think I could remember that day of our wedding. Austin, Texas. Summer […]

Fit and Healthy

Staying fit and healthy in my ThirdThird is an everyday choice. Get out and move daily. Consider my diet. Drink lots of water. AND, it is not really so hard once it became a habit. Long ago, I decided that I would not add weight as I age, forming one of my life mantras, It’s […]

Look Good, Feel Good

I remember my  sister telling me that a woman selling cosmetics told her that, “At your age, honey, don’t leave home without lipstick and shoulder pads.” At the time, it was good advice to follow.  I thought of that the other day when I was cutting shoulder pads out of an otherwise suitable dress. Now, […]


Understanding your sources of energy is basic if you want more of it. In the same way, understanding what drains your energy is just as important. Do more of what gives you energy + Do less of what drains you Plan for re-energizing after necessary times of draining activity. Based on the DiSC model, people […]

Brain Fog

This morning, I woke before my alarm, got up and dressed and was headed out the door when I sensed something was “wrong.”  I checked several times  to see what was feeling wrong about my oft-worn workout pants, but didn’t detect anything amiss… until, I realized they were on wrong-side-out. I am soooo happy I realized […]

Write Your Personal Mission Statement

Putting it all together… Have you been using the resources and working towards writing your own Personal Mission Statement? A  good, working statement will guide your decisions….large and small.  Let’s begin to put it all together into a meaningful and useful Personal Mission Statement. Remember that your Mission Statement is: –Based on your strengths (personality, experience, […]

Identify Satisfaction

Do you know what would bring you satisfaction and fulfillment? Before we come to the final step of actually writing your Personal Mission Statement, have you had the chance to think about what you value, which qualities are important to you, or which strengths you possess?  Do you know what it will take to truly […]

Know Your Strengths

Having a clear Mission Statement is at the core of designing Your BEST ThirdThird. That’s why we have been devoting this blog to taking you step by step through a process to write your own Personal Mission Statement. If you are participating and are in the process of writing your own Personal Mission Statement, you have considered […]

Your Values

What you do speaks so loudly I can not hear what you say. – Ralph Waldo Emerson   Values is our next focus for this process of writing your Personal Mission Statement. What you value is an important part of who you are. It says a lot about how you were raised and how you […]

Describe Yourself

Discovering your personal mission is key to living your life with purpose… and key in designing your BEST ThirdThird. Over the next 6 weeks here on the blog at, we are going to be working through how to discover your personal mission statement. The place to start in writing your own Personal Mission Statement is […]

Your Personal Mission Statement

… and they pass by themselves without wondering. What is your mission?  You have one, you know. Discovering it is key to living your life with purpose… and key in designing your BEST ThirdThird. Over the next 6 weeks here on the blog at, we are going to be working through how to discover your […]

Get it Done Today

A friend once told me that she learned from me that she could get more done in less time than she thought. I didn’t realize that I had that perspective, but I guess I do.  She said that I often would dive in and do things that she would have put off until she had […]

Less Complex

sim·pli·fy   [to make less complex or complicated; make it easier] The direction of your focus is the direction your life will move. Let yourself move toward what is good, valuable, strong and true.   – Ralph Marston   One great way we simplified is that we moved. First, from 37 acres and 5 buildings to .37 acres and 2200sf. Then, to a […]

Conscious Decisions

You can’t accidentally Focus & Simplify… it requires conscious decisions.   The direction of your focus is the direction your life will move. Let yourself move toward what is good, valuable, strong and true. Ralph Marston     I am fully aware that I have the sincere privilege of having a life partner/husband who loves […]

Another free personality test

Understanding your own personality or behavior style is so key to knowing what to focus on. If you are wired to be slow-paced, being in situations that require on-the-spot decisions or short deadlines can be fatiguing, at best. If you are wired to love interacting with people, taking a job filing in the back room […]

Start With One

When we open ourselves up to change and replace our limiting beliefs that hold us back, we are allowing change to take place in us.   S T A R T  W I T H  O N E  T H I N G Find one thing that you can change and just do it. Close […]

Change is Possible

At we are declaring February the Month of Change!   D E C I D E  The first step in designing your BEST Third Third is deciding to be open to change. Being open to change may mean making a change to a behavior/situation or changing a mindset. What are subtle thoughts you have […]

Find Your Place

Finding the place….the spot to be creative is so key to production.  It’s sort of like knowing what to do when you get to the gym.   My favorite writing place is a coffee shop that is usually abuzz with conversations.  It is across from my office, so easily gotten to.  They have “Old Hippie” […]

Use What You Have

When I was in my late 20’s, I wrote a letter to a woman who had written a book that helped me.  I was many miles away from family, had no mentors, and was trying to make my way as a mother (never really thought I would be one), past the romantic stage of marriage […]

Fit + Active

I’m committed to living out my ThirdThird in the best possible way I can.  My ThirdThird.  My Best ThirdThird. Since having my “30-more-years” aha moment in 2012, I have a pretty consistent mindset of making it the best I can.  A huge part of that is remaining physically fit and active.