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Energy Drain

Understanding where your energy comes from and
where it goes is key to living life well.

Do you know what drains you? It is a first step in managing your own energy.

The DiSC is a personal assessment tool we can use to understand the way we are wired. We are each a combination of D and I and S and C. Understanding these basic 4 types of behavior styles is the first, really great step in understanding your own personal wiring.

ENERGY DRAINS

For D’s and C’s, too much time with people contact is a drain. D’s are fast paced and can manage people and time well, as long as it is attached to getting something done.  Just to “hang out” or be entirely social can be a drain. C’s generally are drained by any type of prolonged people contact. Meetings, parties, shopping, chatting…..all deplete a C.

I’s and S’s are drained by having to focus too much on the task. Sitting and staring at a computer, in an office while everyone else is at lunch, working on a project alone can be a sap on energy for those that are people-oriented.

We can’t always avoid the energy drains,
so we have to know how to replenish our energy.

 

For I’s and S’s, energy comes from interaction with others. I’s like a party. They like groups and action and noise and fun. They get energy from being in a crowd and interacting. S’s like connecting, one-on-one and with some depth. They value serious conversation and true friendship.

For D’s and C’s, energy comes from a task. D’s like to start things and to solve problems. They like competitive games that move fast and then end. C’s like research and detailed plans. They like computer games that require concentration and knowledge and that can be played alone.

With some simple tracking and awareness, you can identify your draining times and activities. Once you’ve identified what is zapping your energy, you can limit your exposure to those sources and, more importantly, be intentional and schedule time for replenishing activities that give you life.

 

 

 

 

 

The Platinum Rule

It has been said that understanding DiSC is learning to practice the Platinum Rule.  If the Golden Rule is to “treat others as you would be treated,” the Platinum Rule is “treat others as THEY would like to be treated.”  Ahhh.  Slight (yet, big) difference.

Early in our marriage, I threw my husband (High C and High D–not so much energized by people) a surprise party with a lot of people attending.  He thought we were going to our friends’ for a 4 person dinner.  When we walked in and there were 20 or so people there, his first thought was, “How will we get rid of all these people so we can eat?”  We had to tell him that everyone was there to celebrate his birthday and he still had a hard time loosening up and believing the fact that some people actually might enjoy this sort of thing.

I have never done that again.

The-Platinum-Rule-fortune-cookie

We do tend to think that others will enjoy what we enjoy.  So, when we are thinking of doing something nice for someone else, our initial thoughts will be to do for them what we would enjoy.  If I would enjoy a party, won’t everyone else?  If I only enjoy one or two people at a time, doesn’t everyone?  If my way of dealing with stress is to clam up and put my nose to the grindstone, isn’t that what others want me to encourage them to do? If I am most effective when processing while I talk, won’t others be happy to listen to my musings?

Assuming that the high “S” project manager wants to be interviewed on camera because her high “I/D” boss would love it, does not make it accurate.  Assuming that a high “I” will love researching the best route because their high “C” partner wishes they had the time, may not tap into strengths.  Giving an I, who is in charge of the annual picnic, a strict budget to follow on their own may not have the best outcome.  Expecting a “D/C”, task-oriented birthday man to think 3 hours of conversation and games is a good way to spend an evening just might not result in the most appreciative attitude.

Learning my own DiSC pattern and how that affects my choices of behavior is crucial to my success.

Learning the preferred behavior and motivation of the people I live and work with is the key to successful relationships.

Without conscious attention to differences, it is easy to assume others are just like me.  But, sameness would be boring, if we are honest.  The variety in our relationships is what gives success and breadth and growth and enjoyment… IF we recognize and value the differences. When we recognize and value the differences we can treat others as they would like to be treated.

 

Learn more about the DiSC Personal Profile System and Understanding Your Wiring HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: Alick Boych Friiends Of Mine via photopin (license)

Have you been wanting to try yoga?

In my long-time  pursuit of fitness, I have done a lot of different activities.  I loved sports when I was younger and that was enough, along with being active with my 5 kids, for a long time. But when I was recovering from a neuro-muscular disease and needed to rehab shrunken muscle fibers, I found that I really loved weight lifting.  I liked the evident progress that came from increased strength.  I loved it so much that I would make myself do some cardio before allowing myself weight time!

A few years ago, I discovered classes that I enjoyed.  “Women and Weights” was at one gym.  BodyPump with 800 reps in an hour was at another.  There came a time, though that my more strenuous weight lifting and bouncy cardio was giving me some new aches and pains. My lower back was often achy. I found myself limping some when my right hip complained. It was time for something with less impact.

So… I tried a yoga/tai-chi/pilates class. Two things happened:

  1. My aching back and sore hip got back into behaving as they should.
  2. I was sore!  I thought that I was in great shape and that yoga would set me back, but not so! I was using muscles in new, and evidently, better ways for my over-60 body.

Now, I am a regular yoga practicer (practitioner?).  Sometimes in a class, sometimes at home with a video. I recently tried a “power yoga” class that stretched me (pun slightly intended) and went to a new level.  I love the instructor who gently corrected some of my poses and encouraged me with my progress.

If you have been wanting to try yoga but don’t know where or how to start, here is an idea.

I am a featured writer for sixtyandme.com, a huge on-line community of women over 60. I am happy to pass along this information about the gentle yoga video series they offer.  This is definitely beginning yoga, so have no fear of being sore or needing to be super limber or strong to begin.

Check it out at HERE.

This might just get you moving more with fewer aches and pains!

*****Of course, if you are a beginner and under 60, you might like them, too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

photo credit: Raimond Klavins | Artmif.lv Yoga Intensiv 2017 Turkey Yantra.lv via photopin (license)

Your Story

your story

 

What is the story you are telling?

I am at an age where I have told my story a number of times, in a number of places, to a  number of people.  My story has become more and more consistent as I have worked hard to define what is important to me and what I believe deeply. “Worked hard at” means faced fears, listened to criticism, changed behaviors, stood my ground, moved, cried, laughed, stayed, left.  I determined long ago that I would live my life with intention rather than letting my life live me.  And that has taken work.

I determined long ago that I would live my life with intention rather than letting my life live me.

The most important people in my story are my husband and my kids… though none are “kids” any longer.  And I don’t think of any of them as “kids” at all now, but as adults to be admired and valued and respected, each in their own right.  Their lives, intertwined with mine, are the fabric I wear now.  It surprises me, because “family cohesiveness” has never been a stated goal for me. The theme of my story is responsibility and choices–and personal discovery so that my choices are intentional and so that I am responsibly being the very best human being possible.  My modus operandi?  Grace and truth, always finding the balance.

What story are you telling?

We are all telling a story. To tell it with purpose and with as little regret as possible is a worthy goal.  That isn’t easy… but it is worth the effort… continually.

 

 

Take a Break and Relax

take a break and relax

I wanted to do something fun and slightly edgy to celebrate turning 65. I decided to take a break and relax. I weighed lots of options and tossed around a lot of ideas and finally settled on going to Cuba.

Always interested in the history of this little island and remembering the turmoil of the late 50’s with Fidel and Che’s revolution, recalling the Cuban missile crisis and the Bay of Pigs, I decided I wanted to visit Cuba before Starbucks is there.

relax-1It took some planning.  I had to arrange to cover a significant amount of real estate business, details at home needed planning, travel matching with Dave’s schedule took some discussion.  We finally got it all together and off I went to meet Dave in Merida, Mexico where he was hosting a small group of travelers.  We met up, spent a day with his group, then flew to Havana for three days. And flew home.

Merida was beautiful. Cuba was interesting. The food was phenomenal. The weather ideal.

The trip was short. The travel days were long. There was a lot of walking and waiting. It was exactly what I wanted.

 

I was completely satisfied.

And, surprisingly,  it was relaxing.

As I reflect on the relaxing part, I realize that there was an element to the trip that was not relaxing, at all.  It started with a 15 hour travel day, followed by cars, planes, taxis, late nights, and more long days.

The relaxing part was that I made the decision to completely unplug for the time we were in Cuba.  Using my phone would be possible, but expensive.  We read that internet is sketchy at best. So, I just turned everything off; I took a break.

No phone. No email. No texting. No facebook.
No communication….for 52 hours. Nothing.

That is not a very long time… but it was lovely.  And relaxing.

Relax

 

I have a job that requires communication. I have family I want to stay connected to. I’m curious and love to research and write and read and have information ready when I need it (or want it).  I’m involved in our community.  I love having a smart phone and a laptop and a tablet.

Those 52 hours make me think about how stressful and energy-sapping being plugged in constantly is.  I am going to be better at intentionally giving myself regular quiet time with no connections for better energy and real relaxation.

 

 

What is one thing you can do to create space in the rhythm of your life to unplug and recharge? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Objective & Subjective

 

objective

Designing our best ThirdThird requires that we be able to merge objective information and subjective information.

Subjective information like….

  • What gives me joy?
  • Who do I like to be around?
  • When am I most satisfied?
  • How do I like to be treated?

Objective information like….

  • How have I been successful in the past?
  • When have I been able to accomplish my goals?
  • Who has been there for me?
  • What is my skill set?

 

The DiSC Personality Profile allows me to connect the dots on both subjective and objective information I have about myself, to allow me to design my life for the greatest satisfaction and joy.

Personally, I know about myself that I …..

Am not afraid of hard tasks,

Need to be learning new things,

Function best with some, but not strict, order,

Have stories to share that will inspire others,

Love to make people laugh.

DiSC explanations make me realize why these are true about me…

I enjoy a challenge, 

I bore easily, 

I’m wired to like to sort and organize, 

Meaningful interaction energizes me, 

Adding to others’ lives makes me smile.

 

You can learn a lot about yourself and be designing your own BEST ThirdThird now, no matter what your age, with our Understanding Your Wiring DiSC program.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wonder and Memories

A few years ago, I made my first trip to Mexico city.

Dave had been wanting me to experience Mexico City. It is huge… the largest city in our hemisphere and the third largest in the world. I’m not all that into large (huge) cities, but we are reading a book (The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver) about Frida and Diego and Trotsky and the story draws me to see this place. And Dave loves it there.

As we had been talking about our itinerary, it came to me that we could see the butterflies! I love monarch butterflies and the story of them wintering in Mexico intrigues me.

 

 

Monarch Butterfly

I have always noticed and loved the monarchs. As I planned that trip, I remembered why. It was the monarch butterfly I “raised” as a girl in Texas.

Somehow, I found a monarch caterpillar and brought it home. My daddy became interested as well and he searched for milkweed plants to bring home to feed my little “pet”. It was not easy, but someone he worked with had a home near a railroad track where there were milkweed plants. It was not a short process, but my daddy was in it with me for the long haul, finding food every day or so for my hungry caterpillar.

And one day, it made a chrysalis. And slept in it, for what seemed, to a young girl, a very, very long time.

One Sunday morning, the chrysalis was black. I was concerned….was it dead? We had to leave it and go to church, with me very concerned. But,when we returned home, it was emerging! That caterpillar had, indeed, transformed into a beautiful, black and orange, Monarch butterfly.

monarch butterfly mexico

I was in awe. What a wonder!

The new butterfly came out wet, with wings scrunched. But we watched as it dried and stretched and unfolded, my Daddy and me. The two of us, together, opened the jar lid and watched as my wonderful butterfly flew away… in all its splendor.

Now, I remember why I am intrigued by monarch butterflies. It is about a sweet memory of a quiet and private man who surprised me, occasionally.

 

 

 

 

photo credit: DrPhotoMoto Monarch via photopin (license)

photo credit: jennifernish monarch flight via photopin (license)

Benefits of the DiSC

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I am constantly reminded of how helpful…in life-changing ways….the DiSC material has been to me.

  1. It changed (saved?) my marriage.
  2.  It gave me insight into my kids’ wiring to reduce stress and improve relationships.
  3. It gives me reason to be patient with some who are different from me.
  4. It makes me know why I “click” with some people.
  5. It makes me know why I am drained of emotional energy and how to recharge.
  6. It gives me a way to invest in others around me in concreate and lasting ways.

Invest in knowing yourself better so that
you can be intentional with your life choices.

DiSC is one of the most life-changing pieces of information I have ever encountered.

We are extending our offer for Understanding Your Wiring just for you!

If you need to be reminded of WHY this would benefit you… here are five good reasons to invest in yourself!

 

And, for an introduction to the insights, there is a free quiz at YourBESTThirdThird.com… right on the home page!

 

You are worth it! Make the investment.