You Spot It, You Got It
I have “ThirdThird Mantras.” Words to live by. Lessons learned. Guidelines for designing my BEST ThirdThird.
An important manta for me is “You Spot It, You Got It.”
It goes like this…..I meet someone and they begin to explain to me that (or treat me like) they know more about our topic than I do. Without ever clarifying my interest or experience. Assuming that I know nothing. It is very annoying to me. A “pet peeve,” in fact.
But guess what? I realize that I can be just like that if I am not intentionally caring about others. I can jump in and run on and slash and burn with the best/worst of them if unchecked. It takes thought and care and practice for me to genuinely care to hear other people’s thoughts and experiences and concerns.
“You Spot It, You Got It” is a gentle reminder that being critical of someone else is often shining a spot light on a personal area of need.
I remember clearly from my childhood an instance when I was critical of a friend’s approach toward another person. My mother pointed out to me that, quite often, what you notice as a deficit in others is probably a deficit in yourself.
Ouch. I remember at the time reacting to that, confidently stating that I didn’t have the annoying character defect I noticed in my friend. Of course, privately in my own thoughts later, I could clearly see that my mother was right.
It is a principle that I have not been able to forget. I have passed it on to others and have used it for my own efforts at living life on purpose, letting my occasional 20/20 insight into others’ lives be mirrored back to benefit my own growth.
As an example, lateness is an irritating habit in other people that I have to constantly monitor in my own life. I can be highly offended when others are late to meet me, but effectively justify my own tardiness. Unless I am remembering this gem from my childhood. You Spot It, You Got It.
How to use this life mantra
This is a good mantra to get into your head.
If you have a friend who is a constant complainer and you can’t help but notice, there is a good chance you are a complainer.
If you easily spot the person who demands to be the center of attention, you might be, just a little bit, wishing you were more noticed.
If you are frustrated with people who make assumptions without facts, guess what? Check your own facts.
When there is a habit or behavior that you quickly pick up on and react to in others, chances are it is a quality that you, yourself, are demonstrating to others.
“You Spot It, You Got It” is a useful tool. When you are annoyed with someone, stop and think about it.
Does “someone” use social media when you are in a conversation and it annoys you? You might check to see how often you find yourself checking your phone during meetings or at dinner. It is often easier to spot the truth in others than it is in ourselves.
The “You Spot It, You Got It” mantra might be a slightly painful tool to use initially, but it can become fun. It is certain to be instructive for your efforts at designing your BEST ThirdThird.
It took me a while when my mother pointed it out to me long ago, but it is a lesson I learned early and for some reason, it has stuck with me.