It has been said that understanding DiSC is learning to practice the Platinum Rule. If the Golden Rule is to “treat others as you would be treated,” the Platinum Rule is “treat others as THEY would like to be treated.” Ahhh. Slight (yet, big) difference.
Early in our marriage, I threw my husband (High C and High D–not so much energized by people) a surprise party with a lot of people attending. He thought we were going to our friends’ for a 4 person dinner. When we walked in and there were 20 or so people there, his first thought was, “How will we get rid of all these people so we can eat?” We had to tell him that everyone was there to celebrate his birthday and he still had a hard time loosening up and believing the fact that some people actually might enjoy this sort of thing.
I have never done that again.
We do tend to think that others will enjoy what we enjoy. So, when we are thinking of doing something nice for someone else, our initial thoughts will be to do for them what we would enjoy. If I would enjoy a party, won’t everyone else? If I only enjoy one or two people at a time, doesn’t everyone? If my way of dealing with stress is to clam up and put my nose to the grindstone, isn’t that what others want me to encourage them to do? If I am most effective when processing while I talk, won’t others be happy to listen to my musings?
Assuming that the high “S” project manager wants to be interviewed on camera because her high “I/D” boss would love it, does not make it accurate. Assuming that a high “I” will love researching the best route because their high “C” partner wishes they had the time, may not tap into strengths. Giving an I, who is in charge of the annual picnic, a strict budget to follow on their own may not have the best outcome. Expecting a “D/C”, task-oriented birthday man to think 3 hours of conversation and games is a good way to spend an evening just might not result in the most appreciative attitude.
Learning my own DiSC pattern and how that affects my choices of behavior is crucial to my success.
Learning the preferred behavior and motivation of the people I live and work with is the key to successful relationships.
Without conscious attention to differences, it is easy to assume others are just like me. But, sameness would be boring, if we are honest. The variety in our relationships is what gives success and breadth and growth and enjoyment… IF we recognize and value the differences. When we recognize and value the differences we can treat others as they would like to be treated.
Learn more about the DiSC Personal Profile System and Understanding Your Wiring HERE.